Compliments that Count

Sister Helen P. Mrosia taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minnesota. She writes about a life changing experience for her and her classmates. One day during her ninth grade math class, she had her students close their books and take out two sheets of paper.

Students were instructed to write the names of the classmates down the left hand side of the paper leaving space in between the names. Ms. Mrosia asked each student to write the nicest thing he/she could say about each person on the papers.

Over the weekend, the wise teacher compiled the compliments for each student onto one piece of paper. Monday morning the papers were given to each person. Smiles and rumbling were heard throughout the class. “Really… I never knew that meant anything to anyone.” “I never knew others liked me so much.” She never heard anything else about it after that day.

Several years later, the Elkund family called to tell Ms. Mrosia that Mark had been killed in Vietnam. The family requested her presence at the funeral. A range of emotions surrounded her through the event. One of the pallbearers asked if she were his math teacher. After confirming that she was, the young man said that Mark talked about her often.

After the funeral, Ms. Mrosia was invited to a classmate’s house for lunch. Mark’s parents were waiting for her there at the luncheon.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that" Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, Chuck asked me to put this in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists."

Ms. Mrosia sat down and cried.

We never know the impact of our words. Scripture teaches us to “love one another” and “build one another up.”

Don’t allow selfishness to keep you from encouraging people. Start at home; it can be the most difficult. Extend the compliments to those with whom you work. Focus on building up rather than tearing down.

Most of us see good things in other people – we do visualize it. We often fail in verbalizing it. We see good things in people; now make a habit to say it. Make someone’s day today!